Too late
by myguydied123
Summary: [Alternative ending to THERE IS NO END, THERE IS NO GOODBYE so please read that first] So many terrible things have the Greasers lived so far and now with this awful accident that Ponyboy had to suffer, how will the Curtis brothers & friends cope? A certain greaser will take it very hard, can he ever let go of what is drowning him in pain? [R&R]
1. Chapter 1

**.::I do not Own the Outsiders::.**

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_I left off on chapter 32, the __**bolded **__text are parts I used from chapter 32. This is the alternative ending. I thank you for taking time to read this. Enjoy._

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**_"And if you are a ghost  
I'll call your name again  
And if you are a ghost  
I'll call your name_**

**_You, always..."_**

* * *

_**"Ponyboy...Oh Pony..."**_

**"M-Mama?"**

_**"Hey there lil booger long time no see?"**_

**"Daddee?"**

**Laura Curtis nodded slowly with a smile on her face, Darrel Curtis was beside her his hands on her shoulders both staring at Ponyboy who sat up from his laying position. He didn't know where he was, everything was too bright and the only figures he recognized were those of his parents. They seemed to be waiting for him to do something but it has been such a long time since he saw his parents that he was very still eyeing them thinking this was all a dream. Ponyboy stood up feeling very weak and with his wobbly legs he walked towards them trying to see if they were real.**

**"Mama? Daddee? Awe you weal?"**

**His mother kept on smiling wrapping her arms around her small son, ****_"Of course we are 'lil Colt ."_**

**His father rubbed his back giving a kiss on his head, ****_"We love you so much son."_**

**Pony began sobbing against Laura's shoulder burying his face, it felt like forever since the last time he felt complete. The warmth of his parents love. Family together again. Now knowing it wasn't a dream he cried.**

_**"We can't stay long Pony."**_

**"W-why not Mama?"**

_**"We have to leave soon."**_**His father said.**

**"B-but I don't want you to leave me."**

**His mother put a hand on his cheek stopping the flow of his tears, ****_"Look at me sweetie, you have to make a choice. Now listen good, Darrel?"_**

**Darrel cleared his throat,****_ "Ponyboy, son, we love you so much. Always remember this. Always. Your brothers love you too. They'd do anything to make you happy."_**

**Laura continued, ****_"You can come with us or go with your brothers. Please honey, think very hard ."_**

**Pony furrowed his eyebrows, "If I leave with you...Will- will my brodews be sad?"**

**Darrel gave a sad smile, ****_"I'm afraid so."_**

**"Will you be sad If I go with by brodews?"**

_**"Oh Pony...We're okay where we are son don't you worry. Even though you can't see us we will always be watching you. We love you."**_******His dad ruffled his hair.**

**"Ok...I love you Mama ... I love you Daddee."**

_Some moments of silence passed before Ponyboy grinned extending his arm to his mother, his father ruffled his hair smiling. The choice was made. The three of them walked away from the bright light stopping by a big large brown door decorated with many beautiful abstract figures and a golden door knob. Pony glanced behind him, he saw memories fade like a movie but fast forwarding his short 4 years of life from a distance. The faces of his brothers popped up, friends, Pepsi... "I'm gonna miss you Soda, Dawy...My fwiends...Goodbye..." With a final wave, Pony giggled hugging his mother. Darrel lifted him from the ground, Laura Curtis kissed his cheek, "C'mon sweetie, it's going to be a long road ahead." Together, they opened the door..._

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**_"Soda, Steve."_**

**_Both turned to Darry, he had a bleak look on his face, this was not a good sign. Steve let go of Soda's arm instantly having a bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach._**

**_"What is it Dar?" Soda asked his voice calmed down._**

**_"It's Ponyboy. We need to see him now. He...he really might be dying."_**

**_With those words spoken all of them hurried off to Pony's room._**

Sodapop frowned deeply when he saw his brother laying very still on the big hospital bed. His small body looked so tiny with so many wires connected to him and that beeping machine by his side. Steve silently walked towards where Twobit and Johnny were sitting next to them. Darry ran his hand through his hair nervously thinking the worst. Twobit scratched his cheek wanting to not feel the sadness growing inside. Johnny sighed staring down at the floor feeling helpless, Steve started biting his nails watching Ponyboy's chest rise up and down wishing it would never stop, _C'mon kid! You gotta fight death! You gotta! Please, I promise-promise that I won't um, be such an ass! Just...Please live..._

Darry grabbed one of Pony's small hands stroking it, it felt cold in his own hand making him shudder, _I love you so much_. Then Pony twitched, Soda jumped up from his seat shaking his body slightly, "Baby, baby can you hear me?"

Ponyboy moaned yet kept still. Darry licked his lips, he needed to make a serious phone call. His stomach made a strange sound, Steve asked, "You hungry big guy?"

Shaking his head Darry thought, _It's not hunger...It's the feeling of anxiousness..._

**_The only sound was that of the small machine making a beeping sound letting everyone know of Pony's heart rate. Twobit sighed getting up leaving, "I'll be right back guys. Ya want anything? I'm heading to the cafeteria."_**

**_His friends shook their heads not really hungry even though it's been some time since they ate anything at all. Steve shrugged "I'll go with you." Twobit nodded leaving with him. Darry bit the inside of his cheek remembering something a nurse had recommended a while ago. _**_I suggest you call a priest, you know, Last Rites._**_His mother was a Catholic, his father was Christian. His stomach churned in a bad way thinking that Pony _**_**really**_******_was dying. He was going to die. Shaking his head slightly Darry let out a quivered breath. _****_Soda heard, "What's wrong Dar?"_**

**_"Soda...I-I'm going to have to call a Priest. You know for-"_**

**_Sodapop let out a small cry escape, "Oh Christ Darry, no no, he ain't dead! He's not going to die!" At that moment the middle Curtis moaned resting his head against Pony's chest hearing his faint heart beat. _**_**He's alive! He-he can't die! No Pony you can't...I-I'll go with you, I swear I will! If you die I wanna die with you.**_

**_"Soda it has to be done."_**

**_Johnny shut his eyes after hearing Darry's words. That small hope mustered inside of him began to fade. _**_God, I never ... prayed before but please make him live. Please..._

**_"So what? You just gave up?!"_**

**_"No! I didn't, Soda the doctor even told us Pony-"_**

**_"Ok! Ok. Do whatever you want."_**

**_Darry sighed getting up to phone a Priest they knew very well in a church nearby when they used to go when their mother was alive. Sodapop sniffed while Johnny walked next to him awkwardly putting a hand on his shoulder, Soda smiled weakly. Time was ticking and it was only a matter of time before Darry came back with the Priest. Sodapop remembered when his baby brother was born how he promised himself to always care for Ponyboy that no matter what he'd do everything in his power to have him safe._**

**_Johnny stared at his small friend looking very pale in that hospital bed. He had a gauze wrapped around his head and one of those tubes placed up his nose. _****_The machine kept making it's annoying sound..._**_Beep...Beep..._

Suddenly they heard a small gasp come from Ponyboy. His eyes shot open with his mouth quivering. Soda instantly asked, "You hear me Pone? Is something wrong? Pony? Pony?!"

Ponyboy's eyes stared at his brother's, a small weak smile appeared, "I'm gonna miss you Soda...Dawy..." Then he glanced at Johnny who was holding back his breath, "My fwiends...Pepsi..."

Sodapop made a weird sound from his throat, as if he were choking, shaking his head slowly, "No baby no, don't say that p-please Pony p-"

With one final breath he was able to say one last thing, "Goodbye..." A sigh escaped his lips, his eyes that once twinkled with life now were left with a grayish color. The machine that was in charge of letting everyone know of his heart beat now showed a flat green line. _Beeeeeeeeep._

Soda who had his small brother's hand in his let it drop, his mouth was open in shape of an 'O'. Johnny backed away step by step tears springing to his eyes until he hit the wall behind him with a loud thump. Nurses came running inside with the Doctor shouting orders. A defibrillator was laid beside, the Doc rubbed them shocking Pony on the chest. Darry appeared with a wild eyed face, he took Soda by the shoulders shaking him roughly wanting immediate answers, "What's going on?! Soda, what's going on, talk to me ! Soda, damn it!"

Soda was left without words, the only sounds he heard were that of the doctor frustrating yells, "C'mon kid stay with me!" It all felt like a slow motion movie. Johnny covered his face with his hands not believing any of this. Finally, everything went quiet... The machine kept making that flat line sound almost in a mocking manner. Darry turned around, the Doctor lifted his arm looking bleakly at his watch, "Time of death, 3:47. a.m."

_Death...Death...Death...Ponyboy!_

"T-time of death?" Darry asked stuttering.

"I-I'm real sorry boys...W-we tried everything...It seems that his...His small body couldn't take it...I'm real sorry." His voice started to crack a little, "I'll leave you alone. Take your time." One of the nurses disconnected him from the machine, no sound again. Another one hung her head down as she walked out. The doctor could not meet his patient's family in the eyes knowing he had failed them, guiltiness read all over him.

The only ones alone now were Darry, Soda and Johnny who were still in shock of what had happened.

Sodapop was the first one to do make a move, he took one step forward then another till he reached the bed. He then fell on his knees trembling while letting out the tears, a wail of agony broke out, "No! Pony! Ponyboy! Please! No! God, no! Pony!"

His oldest brother clammed his fists tightly showing the whiteness on his knuckles, his jaw clenched. _No no no no, this cannot be happening, no no please...no! No!_ Tears formed, a stingy feeling grew on the back of his head. His heart raced now grasping the situation of Ponyboy dead. His baby brother dead. _On his birthday._ Soon, Superman, the one who was supposed to be the strong one, will break as well into anguish. A human being could only take so much.

The whole room felt suffocating, Soda's wails didn't help, Johnny sobbed too, shoulders shaking crying into his hands. His heart broke into a million little pieces, already he lost two people who he felt they loved him as parents, now his little brother, he called him that even though they weren't really blood related. _"Youw my bestest fwiend Johnny..Bestest fwiend..." _The one little boy who filled his heart with happiness, forever gone._Oh Pone...Oh Pone..._

"Pony, Ponyboy," Soda whispered, "Y-ya gotta wake up. Please honey...Wake up..."

All of this was a living nightmare.

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**(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)**


	2. Chapter 2

**_**.::I do not Own the Outsiders::.**_**

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**_"I reach to the sky  
And call out your name  
Oh please let me trade, I would_**

**_And it feels and it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it feels, yeah it feels like  
The world has grown cold  
Now that you've gone away"_**

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Sodapop Curtis rested his head against Ponyboy's chest, tears still falling freely from his red puffy eyes. He just couldn't believe his baby brother was really gone, after so much patience to have him home, it was all in vain. Darrel Jr. spaced out, his hand grabbed Pony's now cold smaller hand. His head was pointing towards the white wall not really thinking of anything, just feeling many things at once. Johnny was in his chair his mouth pressed into tight straight line, his eyes burned holding back tears. The silence in the room screamed the truth.

Then walked in the 2 greasers who had left a while ago, Twobit was munching on a small bag of cookies but stopped when he saw all the sad faces. Steve stood still by the door getting an uneasy feeling rising.

"What did we miss?" Twobit asked.

Soda let out a pained sob, "P-Pony..."

Steve gulped, "Soda...Is it...Is he..."

His friend nodded caressing Pony's cheek, "He is Steve. He is..."

Twobit dropped his snack on the floor making a mess now getting it, shaking his head he rushed over to Pony's bed, "He ain't dead..." His voice cracked while nudging Pony on the leg, "You ain't dead squirt, right? You can't. You can't!"

Darry closed his eyes hearing the anguish in his voice, "He died while you were gone. He couldn't...he couldn't be saved..."

Steve looked away not wanting to see the little boy's lifeless body feeling too disturbed at that moment. Soda smeared his hand on his face,"Oh God why? Why why why?"

Twobit's face scrunched up, he bolted out the room slamming the door behind him running out of the building not being able to control himself. Johnny sighed leaning his head against the cool wall staring up at the ceiling, Steve sat next to him placing his elbows on his legs his face into his hands, _Christ...Christ...Why'd ya have to leave kid? Why? We lost you but now-now we're gonna loose Soda too. Damn it...Damn it..._

Afterwards, the Priest came by saying how sorry he was for such a young life to be taken away. The four of them stayed praying for their young friend murmuring _Amen._ Even though Steve or Johnny aren't really religious, they still remained in the room. Soda, through the whole thing, couldn't stop bawling. _My baby...my baby..._

The next was the funeral, it was held in the church where their mother went every Sunday to attend before dying. The same church their parent's funeral was held. That night Soda nor Darry had a blink of sleep. They just laid in bed thinking, remembering. Sodapop kept tossing around in bed, he hugged Pony's pillow knowing he wasn't going to sleep next to him ever again, wake up to his small face smiling when it was time to get up for breakfast, never again will he be able to snuggle with him when he had nightmares. _Never again._ Darry could hear his only remaining brother sniff from his room which brought tears to his eyes but he wiped them away quickly.

Twobit, that night, decided to get drunk at Buck's, he thought getting intoxicated could make him forget about the recent death of Ponyboy. He even talked out loud not caring if anyone heard him, "Ya know whaat? Life suuucks. I sweaaar, I-I just duun't get life. Is there evuun a God? I doon't thaank shoo," _Gulp,"_If theeere wuus, why would-would he take a shiiild? A kid? Whyyy?" He slurred.

Tim Shepard arrived with a couple of friends minutes later, he heard Twobit's words. The first thing that popped into his mind was that something bad had happened, he knew how Twobit acted when drunk so this wasn't normal especially if he talked about such a subject so he swiftly walked over to his table pulling up a chair, "What are you talking about, Twobit? What happened?"

Twobit had a grim expression, a lot of beer bottles were on his table. The one on his hand fell as he scooted over to Tim. He stank of alcohol, Tim grimaced pushing away Keith, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Ya wanna know what's wrooong with me?" He took a sip of another beer beside him,"I'll tell you what the fuck is wruung. Life man, liiife is so unfair. I mean, you love someone sooo much," _Another sip_, "He was just a kid maan. Just a kid! Jesus Christ..."

Tim's eyes widened knowing exactly who he was talking about, another voice was heard behind them. It was Dallas Winston with a pissed off face. He took hold of Twobit by the collar of shirt dragging him away from the bar place where everyone was already looking a little afraid of what might happen. Tim followed, he signaled his other friends to stay put. Dally threw Keith against a car, "Talk Mathews. What. Happened?" He hissed.

Twobit's bottom lip quivered and with a pained voice, "Pony's dead, Dal. He's gone..."

Tim caught his breath cursing, Dally's eyes widened instantly letting go of weeping Twobit. He backed away a little with the words hanging in the air, _Pony's dead Dal. He's gone..._ The day that Pony gave him the cookie appeared in his mind, then of him grinning when Dally took him to the park. When he saw him for the first time, those green eyes staring back at him with no fear just simple curiosity. His hands clenched up, he yelled throwing a crystal bottle from the ground to a car nearby cracking one of its windows. He didn't care if he got in trouble he only wanted to let out his rage, Tim tried calming him down but only pissed him off more.

"Fuck...FUCK!"

Twobit fell on his knees, "I wish-I wish it coulda been me. Not the squirt...Not the squirt...Ah God..."

Dally shook his head angrily kicking the same car wanting to destroy it, "There is no God Twobit! There is none! If there was, he wouldn't take a kid! Don't you understand?! Fuck this!" Just as he was going to slash the tires, Tim held him back.

"Calm the fuck down Dal!"

Dally spun around his blade in his hand dangerously, "Don't you fucking tell me to cal down Tim, don't you fucking dare." Seconds of silence passed. The music from Buck's place echoed. Twobit had stopped crying, he only frowned looking down at the ground. Tim stayed silent alert if the fuzz showed. Dally left moments later angry at what he heard, angry at life.

The next morning, Soda still awake in bed, was hauled up by Darry. He looked very tired, they silently dressed themselves for the sad occasion. They didn't even eat breakfast not hungry at all. Steve walked inside with some black clothes of his own. Johnny walked in after him with bags under his eyes also not having any sleep. They waited for the rest to come, meaning Twobit and Dally.

"You really think Dally will show up?" Steve asked.

Darry sighed, "I don't know but let's wait a little."

"How about Twobit?" Johnny spoke.

When he finished asking, in came Twobit. The gang looked up, he simply nodded a hello not saying a single word. They drove off in Darry's truck, some in the front, some on the back. Parking by the church, Soda saw some people already there. Laura the therapist who's eyes were glassy, Darry's boss, Mrs. Mathews with Karen, Tim, Angela and their kid brother, Curly, looking all gloomy. Soda felt a pang of envy, _lucky them to have their baby brother alive...Mine ain't..._ But he quickly shook that thoughtaway knowing that the masked killer was thinking the same with Ponyboy which brought back other bad feelings.

The Greasers walked towards the church, Darry being the oldest was greeted with many words of comfort, he was grateful but didn't really feel any console. Soda hurried inside, he didn't want any contact with any of them. _How can they be fucking sorry? They don't know how it feels. They know nothing._ Inside, he froze on the spot at what he saw. The rows of seats were empty since everybody was at the entrance, the only thing that was there was a small white casket with many flowers surrounding it. It was open. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was Darry.

"I know Soda. I know."

Now that the brothers were inside, the rest walked in. Darry seated himself on the front row along with the gang. Sodapop hung his head low as the funeral began. The Priest spoke, _"__Let us commend Ponyboy Michael Curtis to the mercy of God..." _

The middle brother spaced out. When everyone stood he kept seated. His eyes on the ground lost in memories.

_"I'm scawed Soda..."_

_"Don't be scared 'lil colt, I'm here. I'm here. C'mere."_

_"Hey Soda..."_

_"Yeah Pone?"_

_"I love you..."_

Steve elbowed him lightly, "Soda...Soda...It's time."

It was time for each person to go by his casket to say goodbye. One by one they went. First was Steve, he took a deep breath before looking down at Ponyboy. He could feel his eyes burn, tears forming in his eyes, his hand roughly wiped them away.

_"Can you pwomise me somethin?"_

_"What?"_

_Pony sighed sadly, "Can you make him happy again? When I'm not dewe? And if you can, Dawy too. I don't like my broders ow fwiends being sad...Please?"_

Steve nodded mindlessly remembering the phone call from some time ago when he was taken away, _I'll keep that promise kid. I will. _With that he left, next up was Johnny. He furrowed his eyebrows together saying with a low voice, "Gosh Pony, I'm sure gonna miss you. We all are. You weren't supposed to die. We were gonna finish _Gone with the Wind..._I love you Pone, I just hope you're better where you are. I'll never forget you."

Twobit was up, he kept licking his lips having a dry mouth from nervousness. "Oh squirt, what am I going to do without you? You were just a kid, a baby for Christ's sake...I'm gonna miss you squirt. Maybe someday I get to take you out for ice cream, heh...Maybe some day..."

Darry. The oldest Curtis held his head up high, he had to be strong like on his parent's funeral. He's supposed to be the strong one. At least for that event, later he could break but only by himself. His jaw was tightened, it was very hard for him though. It wasn't easy seeing a toddler dead especially if it's a family member. _I failed you Mom and Dad, I promised you I'd keep my brothers safe. Now-now Ponyboy is dead...I hope you can forgive me. At least he-he's with you know. Tell him...Tell him we'll miss him so much. More than anyone can ever imagine._

At last, Sodapop. Each step he felt an icy sting in his chest getting deeper and deeper. His eyes laid upon the open casket, there he was, his brother. His eyes closed never to open again. His face was awfully pale. Soda could swear he was only sleeping. Again, the crying began. He thought of the memory when his mother brought Pony home the first day. How excited he was to watch him sleep, feed him his mill bottle when his mother was around. When he and Darry taught him to walk and his first words. He beamed when Pony was able to pronounce Soda. _Damn it Pony! You couldn't fight? Huh? You could of...Oh Ponyboy, I-I don't think I can live without you. I really can't. I feel so-so weak. Why'd you have to go baby? Why? How the hell do you expect me to go on without you? I'll miss you so much, so so much. If I had known...God, If i had only known. _

The day after was the burial. From the church they walked to the cemetery. Darry wanted Pony to be buried next to their parents. The greasers carried the casket. This was much harder, this really meant that it would be the last time they ever got to see the young Curtis's face. As they lowered it, Soda held on to Darry's arm tightly. Steve was holding on to Soda's shoulder, Twobit cried silently with Johnny. The grave was dug up. After a while some people left until it was only Darry with Soda. Steve, Twobit and Johnny were waiting for them in Darry's truck knowing they'd want some time alone. Soda kneeled down touching Pony's headstone. Darry bit the inside of his cheek.

"What are we gonna do Dar?"

"...We move one Soda...That's all that's left..."

Soda nodded, "Let's go Darry."

The Curtis brothers held on to one another leaving the cemetery. Sodapop glanced behind him once more. _Goodbye..._

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(**Sorry for any grammar mistakes)**


	3. Chapter 3

**.::I do not own The Outsiders::.**

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**_"One more time I'm left broken,_****_  
_****_one more time words unspoken,_****_  
_****_one more time emptiness inside,_****_  
_****_one more time I'm living a lie._****_  
_****_You - will never fade away."_**

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Darry sat in his recliner his eyes closed. His boss had given him 2 weeks off knowing how broken he must be. Soda was given some time too, he laid curled up in his bedroom hugging a pillow his eyes red. It was just one day after the burial, it was very hard not to think about him. Steve and Twobit weren't around as much, the house was too depressing as it was. Dally was nowhere to be seen, he practically disappeared after he heard Ponyboy had died. It around noon, none of the brothers had eaten anything, this concerned Darry though. People who have an empty stomach for days usually get sick quickly. There was a knock on the door, Darry knew it couldn't be a Social Worker, he yelled at them blaming everything that had happened for his brother's death, Soda almost beat the lady when she showed up at the hospital but his friends held him back. The newspaper would get the story out soon, it wouldn't be long before reporters started chasing them for interviews or photos.

Darry sighed as he opened the door revealing a man in his forties. He seemed a little off, like he was disturbed. His head snapped up when the door opened. The man cleared his throat, "Afternoon, son. Name's Richard. Richard Hollis."

"Do-do I know you?"

"No, not really, may I come in?" Richard fidgeted with something in his hands. Darry thought for a second but let him in anyways.

"Come in, my name is Darrel Jr. Curtis. Sorry for being so blunt but who are you?"

"It's all right son, first of all I'm real sorry about Michael's death."

"Michael? ...You knew Ponyboy?" Darry asked wanting to know more. Sodapop appeared from the hallway walking into the living room where the man and Darry were.

"What's going on Dar? Who is this?"

"This is Richard Hollis and he, well-"

"I was Ponyboy Michael's foster parent."

Sodapop frowned deeply, "And what _are_ you doing here?"

"Soda..."

The man stood up from where he was sitting extending his hand with a worn out notebook. Darry stared at it confused, "What's this?"

"As you know, Ponyboy was a very talented child and although I wasn't really-really there with him all day, Charlie told me all the things he was capable of doing. The cops handed me this notebook, it has all of Pony's drawings, I thought maybe you would want it."

Soda took it with trembling hands realizing that in that notebook held all of Pony's last thoughts. He shuddered also remembering that last week he had read the masked man's diaryas well though this wasn't the same. Darry noticed his distressed look so he grabbed it from him, "Charlie's father?"

"He wasn't exactly our son. He was a foster child at the beginning but we adopted him afterwards. Charlie was buried next to Marie, my wife. He was a good kid. Cops told me that Charlie died trying to save your brother. Always cared for others rather than himself." Richard told them sadly.

"Ponyboy always talked about how great he was...I'm real...really sorry for your loss Mr. Hollis." Darry said.

"Me too...Anyways, just came by to drop that off. It was a real pleasure meeting such an extraordinary kid," he placed his hand on Darry's shoulder, "Time heals all wounds Darrel, just don't give up."

With that said Richard left the Curtis home. Sodapop gazed at Darry who was holding on to the notebook. He didn't know why but he felt some type of nervousness when he imagined himself going through the pages of the notebook. Like it was some sort of weapon that had to be hidden. His brother chewed on the inside of his cheek trying to think of what to do next. This surprise visit lifted some weight off of him, only a little. He also was thinking of the boy Charlie, the day when they hurried off to Pony's foster home. There was someone laying on the floor, he remembered now. A body sprawled on the floor. _Charlie..._

Sodapop let out a sigh then walked into his room again shutting it close. Darry shook his head slowly not approving of his depression. He himself was in a grieving state but Soda was spiraling out of control. His emotions were getting the better of his life, his last meal was three days ago. Even Steve couldn't get him to get out of bed. Twobit's humor was long gone and Johnny stayed home most of the time. The gang was falling apart. The door opened again, this time it was Twobit.

"Hey."

"Hey Twobit."

Twobit plopped himself on the couch, "Just came by to say hi."

"Ok."

"Soda ain't coming out of his room any time soon, huh?"

Darry glanced down the hallway at Soda's bedroom door, "Don't think so."

"Haven't heard anything 'bout Dally?"

"No, nothing at all. Not even Tim has seen him. I'm starting to think he moved back to New York."

"Nah, he'll come around."

Twobit left hours later.

A couple of days passed, days turned into weeks and weeks into months. From July to September. Darry had gotten back to work getting full shifts even though he didn't need to anymore. So did Soda, at work, his depression continued. Steve tried cheering him up in any way possible but it was useless. Soda had become numb. His cheerful personality was gone, the glimmering sparkle in his eyes faded. Ponyboy's absence took a toll on him. Steve was getting very frustrated. Twobit had gotten used to getting drunk very often now. Three times a week he crashed in the Curtis house, the next day he'd wake up with a bad hangover. Johnny's presence was scarce, most of the time he stayed at his place. And Dally...Well, he finally showed up.

Soda was in the kitchen table playing with his bowl of soup, Steve was on the couch flipping through the channels of the television. Darry was in the kitchen cleaning up, Twobit was at Buck's drinking. The door swung open with Dally walking inside with a smoke in his mouth. Everyone turned to see him, "Heh, missed me?"

"Where have you been?" Johnny asked.

"Oh you know, here and there."

"Great" Darry said.

Steve shrugged, "Thought you moved or something. I was actually gonna go to jail to look for you."

Dally grinned, "You know me too well."

Soda sipped some water then left mumbling a 'hello' to Dally on his way to bed. Steve scowled, his look on the floor, Darry sat down rubbing his temple worried that his brother hadn't barely eaten a bite of his dinner. Johnny made his way to the living room taking a seat on the couch folding his arms.

"What's up with Soda?" Dally asked scratching his cheek.

"Well what do you think? He's sad about Pony being gone. What did you expect?" Johnny snapped.

Everybody was stunned by his attitude, Johnny never acted that way. Never saw him upset or angry. He knew how to hide his feelings very well. This was the first time they ever saw him show any strong emotion. Dally narrowed his eyes at him, "When did you get so smart ass, huh Johnny?"

"Me? Look at you. You left when we were in rough times, where were you when it was Pony's funeral? His burial?_ Where were you?" _Dally didn't respond so Johnny continued, "Yeah, I thought so...So if you want to know _what's going on_ just think about what you missed. G'night guys." The tanned greaser ran out of the house very pissed off at his once closest friend Dallas.

Dally didn't know how to react, those words were like a blow to the face. It was all true, _where was he? _The gang is supposed to be a family, stick together through bad times. He had, in a way, abandoned them. Darry stood up getting the dirty plates to the sink ready to wash the, dishes, Steve played with a cigarette that was in his hands ignoring Dally's cold expression.

"See you tomorrow." The door slammed closed.

The house fell silent, the only sounds was the water splashing in the kitchen. Steve went into the living room turning on the television trying to divert his thoughts on Soda's new behavior. It's been some stressful months, his friends were supposed to be healing but it just seemed they were breaking more. Which scared him a lot, that meant that they'd never be the same. _Hell, if I knew better, Soda died along with Pony._

* * *

Dallas Winston fell down on his knees, one arm wiped away some tears that didn't get to make all its way down. The sky was getting darker, the wind blew a cold gust of wind. Between his grinded teeth the greaser managed to hold back a sob. It was true, he was a bad friend. '_Where were you?' _Those words echoed in his mind._ Ah damn it...Ah damn, Pony...I-I..._ One of his hands reached out to the gravestone with the young deceased Curtis's name on it.

"I'm sorry pipsquick...Real fucking sorry...I-I didn't know...I just...A hell...Why-why did ya hafta to go? Look what's this is doing to me? To everybody?" _Snif _ "If-If there was a chance...You know I would have traded places with you, kid. No doubt about it."

On his feet, Dally covered his mouth with his hand, eyes closed, "I'd give you a million cookies if I thought they'd make you better. Heh, Christ what am I saying..."*

He let out a deep breath as he walked out of the cemetery, Dally was a tough guy but even this made him fall apart.

* * *

**(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)**

_***The comment Dally made about the cookie was a memory he had on There is no end, there is no goodbye ch.2**_

**_PS: Thank you for your support :)_**


	4. Chapter 4

**.::I do not own The Outsiders::.**

* * *

_**"Sometimes I lie, sometimes I cry, sometimes I die, I'm going down  
Sometimes I wish, sometimes I switch, sometimes I drift, I'm going down  
Sometimes I am, sometimes I jam, sometimes I dam, I'm going down**_

_**Close your eyes, release your mind, open your heart**_  
_**I know you're falling away, you're falling away from me"**_

* * *

Darrel Jr. paced in his bedroom back and forth glancing to his dresser where the notebook was laid down. Since July to now, October, not one of the two brothers dared to open it. He didn't understand why there was this fear, this anxious reaction of just thinking of reading the contents inside. It was around three in the morning, some nights he couldn't sleep easily, it seemed that his little brother left many wounds still open also the nightmares he passed on to them. Soda, some nights, would wake up shouting for Ponyboy crying afterwards, Darry would jolt up in bed with many bad memories in his dreams. _I thought time was suppose to heal all wounds...Time just keeps making things worse._

With a sigh, Darry sat on the edge of his bed covering his face with his hands, this was harder than his parent's deaths. Through the small bedroom's window, the moon's glow shone. The stars twinkled brightly, the oldest Curtis looked out a ghost of a smile appearing on his face. Tears welled up as he sobbed quietly, "Aawe Pone.."

* * *

Steve worked on a car that was dropped off an hour ago. Owner said something was making a weird rattling noise. With beads of sweat sliding on his front he kept working on it with determination. On the front desk was Sodapop sitting down looking at a magazine without really knowing what he was reading. His mind was somewhere else. It was always somewhere else. Thoughts of Ponyboy roamed in his head, he also thought of the _What if's. What if I had just taken Pony a day before? Or run away with him before he was placed in a foster home? Or if I had run faster to catch him before he fell down the stairs?_

"-pop?"

Soda shook his head quickly peering up to see Steve folding his arms with a grimace on his face.

"Huh?"

"Soda, ya gotta start using your head more, if you don't cut this crap you're gonna have to leave work. Now c'mon man, I need your help for a sec."

"Yeah, ok."

Walking into the garage, Steve closed the door spun around and pushed his friend making him stumble backwards. Soda glared at him catching himself by leaning on the car that was in there, "What the hell Steve?!"

"Me? What's your problem, man? You keep acting all zombie, you gotta cut that shit out!"

"You think this is easy?! It ain't easy Steve! I lost by brother! My baby brother!"

Steve rolled his eyes, "It's been months! Get over it!"

Sodapop narrowed his eyes, "You're such a jack ass Steve."

He smirked, "Aren't I always?"

"I thought you were my friend."

"I _am_ Soda! Which is why I'm telling you this. Open your eyes, look around you."

"It's not like you'd understand anyways, you never lost someone like I did." After those words left his mouth he instantly regretted it.

Steve frowned going past by Soda whose face was pale. He opened the door wide. Maybe it wasn't the same pain but he knew what it meant to really hurt over somebody, losing his mother at 12 wasn't easy, especially when his father turned into an alcoholic after losing his wife, getting drunk was a mechanism for grieving. Unfortunately that stuck with him ever since.

"Steve, I-I'm sorry."

"Just go Soda, just go..."

Soda was almost out of the garage, "Really, I wasn't thinking-"

"Ya know Soda, I hope Pony doesn't see you like this... Where ever he is."

His body felt cold like someone giving a slap on the face. Soda swallowed thickly stepping inside the shop a ringing sound in his ears. Since it was the beginning of October, outside was very cold. Not many costumers came, especially at night making business slow. He sunk in his seat gazing at the counter as if it were very interesting.

_They don't know. They just don't know the pain. It hurts, everyday this hole inside of me just gets bigger and bigger. It's too hard...to let go of someone you loved more than anyone else. He was just a baby...Just a baby...I miss him so much, more than anything in the world. He wasn't suppose to die. We already had lost Ma and Dad, why him too? Oh Pony, I wish you were here with me. With Darry, the guys. God damn it, I don't think I'll ever be ok. _

One tear slid down his cheek, _Pony, I'm so lost without you..._

* * *

Johnny fumbled with the pencil in his hand as he worked on some homework from school in the Curtis house. Darry was in his recliner reading the newspaper calmly, he told Johnny if he needed help with his English essay he'd help. The radio was on, Bob Dylan's voice echoed off the walls. The front door opened with a drunk Twobit stumbling inside. He had a black eye, blood dripping from his noise and bruised lip. He grinned when he saw his friend's worry.

"Fancy meetin ya here."

Darry caught him before he fell to the ground. Johnny, forgetting his homework, rushed to his side helping Darry lay him on the couch. Twobit rubbed his cheek scowling remembering what had happened. _Damn Socs._ The tanned greaser pursed his lips seeing him in that bad state. It was very sad watching his friend so out of it almost all the time, he wasn't like this before with his natural humor. Now, when he does talk, it's the alcohol speaking.

"I'll be right back, Johnny you stay here."

"Where are you going?" Johnny asked as Darry grabbed his keys.

"To the store to buy aspirins, I have none left. It'll only take a minute or two."

A load groan was heard from Twobit massaging his head when Darry closed the door making a loud noise, he cocked his head when he saw Johnny glower at him. The teen sighed plopping himself on the recliner shaking his head.

"Ya knooow, you shouuuld tuurn that frown upside up." Twobit slurred.

Johnny frowned deeper, "Just shut up Keith... And by the way, it's _upside down_."

He winced when people pronounced his name, "Whoa whoa, hold up a sec. Whaat did I duu?"

That's when Johnny turned around with his eyes glazed, "Look at yourself Twobit. What happened? I thought you-you'd stay the same...Everybody...Everybody is ... different. Even me but...This is not how I thought it'd turn out..." he sighed again, "Everythings fucked up, man."

Twobit stared at him processing every word. Although drunk he knew what he was thinking and he'll remember this conversation in the morning. It was true, everybody changed. Obviously Pony's loss would have affected the gang but this was too much. Not what was expected. _But who expected Ponyboy dying? _Even Dally disappeared for a while, Sodapop hasn't been the same, he was all ghost like, Darry always looks stressful, Twobit himself being a real bastard drunk getting into fights and Johnny. He barely shows up anymore.

"_Fucked up..._You're right kid, we are..."

* * *

Dally took a cancer stick lighting it up, he was in the lot alone sitting on a rust old truck that didn't even work, it's tires were stolen , the windows broken. He let the smoke out slowly from his mouth making a cloud of smoke that disappeared with the blow of the wind. It was very chilly outside so he pulled on his jacket. His eyes scanned the empty lot that held many good memories of the gang laughing still happy. _The pipsquick taking his first steps here, everybody helping him walk a far distance. When he learned to play tag with us, run around, kick the football, finding Pepsi._ He grinned, _punching Johnny on the nose. Ha, what I would give to go back in time for that..._

He flicked the cigarette on the ground crushing it with his foot. _What I'd give to live another day like that._

* * *

**(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)**


	5. Chapter 5

**.::I do not own The Outsiders::.**

* * *

_**"Life goes on  
Come of age  
Can't hold on  
Turn the page  
**__**Time rolls on**_

_**Wipe these eyes  
Yesterday laughs  
Tomorrow cries**_

_**Memories are bittersweet  
The good times we can't repeat"**_

* * *

Twobit furrowed his eyebrows together as he looked at the beer in his hand, after his 6th beer his head was getting lighter. With his head swaying a little, he grunted knowing that again he was drunk again after so many nights by himself in the bar sitting down while everybody else were chatting away with friends. He remembered Johnny's words. _Everythings fucked up._ He grimaced, _It's true. It just ain't the same. God...Why'd you have to do this? Why'd ya hafta break-break us? _He then started biting on a toothpick, since his gang was broken, who will be the one to pick up the pieces? How will they pick up each piece? How would they even start? _Soda's all zombie,, Steve's moody, Darry's all down and low, Johnny won't talk or show up, Dally's practically gone and me?...Pff look at me. I'm-I'm a stupid drunk!_ Angry at himself, he threw the beer bottle against a wall shattering into pieces. _I've had just about enough of this shit._

He walked out before getting an earful of the owner. _If nobody is gonna do shit 'bout this whole thing, I'm gonna be that someone. _

* * *

Steve nudged Soda with his elbow, "C'mon man, I say we go."

"I don't know, I feel beat."

"You always feel beat."

Darry shrugged, "I say you go Soda, you haven't been out lately. It would do you some good."

"See! C'mon man!"

Dallas groaned, "Christ, can't you just go? It won't hurt anyone."

The door opened with Twobit barging in, Darry asked, "Drunk again?"

Twobit shook his head, "I'm right as rain. Just came by to have a little talk with ya'll. Where's Johnny?"

Soda pointed at the bathroom door, "Taking a piss. What's going on?"

Their friend sighed setting himself down on the couch next to Soda and Steve. Dally leaning against the wall smoking. There was a moment of silence, Darry didn't understand what was going on, he never saw Twobit so serious. Steve rolled his eyes thinking it was one of his lame jokes, Soda really didn't care, Dally rubbed his forehead, _This better not be a waste of my time._ They heard the toilet flush, Johnny walked out stopping when he saw the boys sitting down having a serious look on their faces. He gave Dally a questioning look to which he didn't get a response just a shrug. Twobit stood up taking a deep breath, he did not plan this out, all he wanted to do was fix things.

Steve exhaled noisily, "You going somewhere with this Twobit?"

"Actually yes. I was thinking ya know and-"

"You think Twobit?" Dally snorted.

Twobit glared at him, "Shut up will ya? Listen to me this one time!"

Dally raised an eyebrow, "Hey chill out man."

"I can't chill out Dally. Don't ya'll see what's going on with us? Look around! We ain't the same! I'm sick and tired of everything! Dally isn't even here! Can't you see this? Christ, please guys. I wanna change! I hate getting drunk almost every night! Aren't ya'll tired of it too?"

The greasers stayed still not expecting that outburst. Johnny blinked until a small smile appeared on his face, _So he does remember._ Darry nodded slowly knowing what he was trying to say, Steve puffed while folding his arms, _About freaking time some says anything._ Dally scratched his cheek, _Tough stuff..._Soda frowned, Steve was already getting on his nerves with that every day. _Son of a... Can't they take it easy for once? This is just fucking great..._ Twobit was still silent waiting for someone to say something. Unexpectedly Johnny was the first one to speak, "I agree with him."

"Believe it or not me too, nice going bird brain." Steve said.

Dally shrugged, "I guess."

Darry cleared his throat, "You're right Twobit. Soda?"

Soda sighed getting up to leave but Steve gripped hi roughly by the arm, "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Leave me alone!"

Darry gritted his teeth, he also had enough of his only brother adapting to this new attitude, these past months he hasn't seen a blink of Sodapop Curtis. The one that used to grin goofily at everything, the one who used to be positive in tough times, that care free person was no longer there. This new one wasn't Soda, this one was a walking corpse carrying a sad soul. Darrel grabbed Soda by the shoulders firmly face to face, "You better stay here and listen Sodapop Curtis! Don't you understand? We're trying to help each other! We haven't been the same, _you_ haven't been the same!" His voice was breaking, "I just-just want everything to be better. You don't know how hard it is to-to come back and see you this way..."

Soda's bottom lip started to quiver slightly, he got out of his hands looking at everyone in the room, "You just don't understand! Losing Pony was-is...Unbearable... I still can't get over the fact that he ain't here no more! We lost Ma and Dad...Now Pone? I mean, we've been through so much...What did we do to deserve that huh Dar? I made a promise to Pony that I wouldn't let anything happen to him, and now look where he is? 6 feet underground dead! What a good freaking brother am I?!... I just want Pony back..."

Steve stared at the ground feeling sad for Soda, now he understood everything. Twobit's eyes started to get watery to which he discretely wiped, Johnny closed his eyes hearing the pain in Soda's voice, Dally didn't know how to react so he stared out the window. Darry took a step towards Soda who was sobbing, his brother suddenly hugged him burying his face on his hair, "Oh Soda...If what you say is true then I'm also a bad brother. I failed you both."

"No Dar that's not what I meant."

Twobit interrupted, "None of you have any fault. How could we have known about Pony? Or the killer wanting him? Nobody."

Johnny said, "At least Pony's is better wherever he is, " He smiled softly, "With your folks."

Soda sobbed again this time cracking a smile of his own, "I bet he is. I can only imagine..."

Steve put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "You just gotta let go Soda, _we_ gotta let go."

Darry's lips curved upwards, "We'll work it out Soda, I promise."

Twobit sighed happily getting closer to the almost group hug, "Just have to hang in there."

Soda gulped realizing what good friends he had by his side, his heavy heart a bit enlightened from the Greaser's positive attitude. _In tough times we have to stick together._ Steve grinned at him patting him on the back, Twobit started laughing for no reason at all, all he felt inside was a surge of happiness. Johnny chuckled at his weird state but also felt better, a weight off his chest.

"I think we need some chocolate cake."

Steve smirked, "About time, but let Darry do it. You put a lot of sugar in it."

Darry rolled his eyes, "Gonna get be diabetes one day."

Twobit rushed to the kitchen, "What are ya'll waiting for? C'mon, get started on it."

"You're always hungry..." Dally pushed Twobit playfully.

They began to chatter away, something in the air changed. No more tense gloomy emotions in the air ruining the day. Johnny watched from the living room as Darry got out the milk from the fridge, Steve handed a bowl to Soda and Twobit grabbed the eggs. Dally rolled his eyes seeing Twobit trying to juggle the eggs that cracked when he filed, then Darry yelled at him to clean up the mess. Johnny couldn't help but to smile widely, _Finally. We begin to pick up the pieces._

* * *

**(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)**

**[PS One more chapter to go! Thank you for reading :)]**


	6. Chapter 6

**.::I do not own The Outsiders::.**

* * *

**_"I want to swim away but don't know how_****_  
_****_Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean_****_  
_****_Let the waves up take me down_****_  
_****_Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)_****_  
_****_Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down_****_  
_****_Let the rain come down_**

**_(In to space)_**

**_Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)_****_  
_****_(I thought of just your face)"_**

* * *

_"Soda!"_

_He rubbed his eyes trying to adjust to the bright light in the room he was in. Groaning, Sodapop sat up wondering where the heck he was. The soft young voice yelled his name again. Something about it made him stand up looking for the person, the bright light vanished showing a small park he recognized very well. Tulsa park. The voice hummed a familiar song, he finally saw the person. It was a boy, he was sitting on one of the swing staring down at his feet smiling. Soda froze, he knew exactly who the small boy was. At that moment he felt like his heart stopped. The little boy looked up grinning, then he jumped off the swing rushing to Soda giving him a hug._

_"Soda!"_

_"P-P-Ponyboy...Ponyboy!" In an instant he knelt down wrapping his arms around Ponyboy crying happily, with his hand he ruffled his hair sniffing, "I-I missed you so much 'lil colt! I-I can't believe you're really here!"_

_"I missed you too Soda! And Dawy! Twobit, Dally, Johnny and even Steve!"_

_"Gosh Pone, is it really you kiddo?"_

_"Of couwse it's me silly! I came by to visit! I saw dat you wewe vewy sad. I had to say hi."_

_"What do you mean you saw me?"_

_His little brother frowned sadly, he took his big brothers hand leading him to a bench, the small park was empty, only them two. The sun shone brightly with puffy clouds hovering above. Ponyboy was next to Soda snuggling beside him, " I'm an angel now Soda, like Mama and Daddee. I can see you. And you look vewy sad like eveywone else. I don't like you being sad. It makes Mama, Daddee and me sad too."_

_Soda swallowed the knot forming in his throat smiling weakly, "Oh Pony, it's just that, we really miss you. You're not with us no more, how can we not be sad?"_

_Pony pointed at him giving him a warm smile, "I'm always gonna be with you Soda, ya just gotta believe."_

_Those words will be marked in his mind forever, that smile engraved into his memory. Sodapop sighed staring up at the sky thinking how this could probably just be a dream...__**Even if it is I'll enjoy every second of it**__, so he turned to Pony and starting tickling him like the old days. Pony squealed trying to escape his small attack. After a couple of seconds, Pony ran from him going to the park hiding. Soda caught him again pushing him to the ground playfully. After what seemed like hours they laid down on the grass panting from running so much. _

_Ponyboy sighed contently, "I have to go now Soda."_

_Soda sat up "What?"_

_"It's time fow me to leave," with one small hand on Soda's cheek he whispered, "Pwease Soda, don't be sad anymowe. I'm ok now, you be happy."_

_He then stood on his legs walking away slowly, the whole park seemed to fade away, young Curtis waved bye at him also fading with the rest of the scene. Tears slid down his cheeks when he saw Pony disappear, "See you soon Pone."_

Waking up, he jolted upwards from his bed breathing steadily to catch his breath. His eyes adjusted to the room, outside the sun was up letting everyone know it was time to get up to start a new day. Darry's voice was heard out his bedroom door knocking softly, "Time to wake up 'lil buddy, Steve will be here any minute."

"Y-yeah I'll be right out."

The dream had felt so real, Pony's words, all that playing in the park, all that laughter. He touched his cheek lightly, "Don't worry Pone, I won't be sad anymore..."

After a quick shower, he ate breakfast in fast bites as Steve told him to hurry up so they wouldn't be late. Darry raised an eyebrow noticing something different about his brother. Twobit came in the house with Johnny pushing him playfully to the couch, "Greetings fellow greasers! Ain't it a wonderful day out?"

Soda nodded eagerly rushing outside taking in a gulp of fresh air, "It sure is Twobit, c'mon Stevie! Thought you were in such a hurry! See ya later Darry! Bye Twobutt! Johnny!" He winked them a goodbye.

Steve and Darry gave each other a weird look, Darry was right there was something different. Twobit grinned sitting down on the couch, "Gooolly, so Soda is finally out of his zombie state. Miracle?"

Steve shrugged although inside he felt some small hope that his friend had finally snapped out of it, "Guess so, see you later guys."

At work, Soda was cheerful with a big smile on his face when costumers showed up. Again the ladies began to get close for some flirty comments. Steve folded his arms staring from where he was at Sodapop making small talk with a girl who asked for a fill up for her car. Some giggles escaped her mouth, "All right then, next week sounds fine to me."

_Next week? Soda?! A date? What the-_

"I'll pick you up around seven ok? Bye darling." _Wink._

Steve decided to talk about his sudden change of attitude, "Soda? What's going on with you man? You feeling all right?"

Soda smirked, "I don't know, I just feel...Great! I thought you'd be happy?"

"Course I'm happy! It's just that-well-Why so sudden?"

"Well...I kinda woke up...Like this..."

A costumer entered the DX, the talk was postponed. The whole day was good. It had been such a long time since it felt normal. Like a switch turned off had turned on. A warm feeling. Steve smiled to himself knowing Soda was coming back from his personal hell. And Steve would be at the entrance waiting for him to help him find the way back home.

Darry had arrived home before anyone else, he put his tool belt away then stretching in the living room hearing a crack on his back. The house was empty, kind of weird. He took the opportunity to take a shower, afterwards in his room he put on his pajama clothes. Taking a deep breath Darry sat on his bed rubbing his temples thinking of how calming the house was. _It just creeps me out a little._ A photo of his brothers caught his attention that was on the dresser next to his bed. It was one where Sodapop was holding a ball grinning at the camera, Darry holding on to Pony's little arms so he could stand up to kick the ball. Mother had taken the picture, _Damn how I wish I could go to that moment and relive it. Oh my baby brother..._

He remembered also the object the man had given them months ago. Neither one of the brothers dared to read it. Just as he took it Sodapop yelled, "I'm hooome!"

"Soda?"

Sodapop entered the room stopping on his tracks when he saw what was in Darry's hand. Steve showed up behind , "Hey superman."

"Soda...I think you should see what...is had inside." Darry said extending his hand with the notebook. As much as he wanted to see it first he thought Soda should. He wasn't moving on from Ponyboy's death. Darry had, with much struggle and all his might, he had moved on.

Steve knew about it, he agreed with Darry. Sodapop needed closure and this was the perfect thing for it. Steve pushed him lightly, "It's ok Soda, it will be all right. Go ahead."

_I guess this is..this is a good idea._ Soda grabbed it trembling a little, he looked at his friends for a couple of seconds until he went into his room. Darry told Steve to take a walk with him while his brother had some time alone for him to see what was inside that forgotten thing.

In his room, Soda took a long deep breathe, deep down he knew why he was scared of looking. Frightened, anxious, nervous. It was because what was written inside was the last thing Pony drew, written, thought of before dying. This meant that after reading this it would be the last of hearing what his little brother had to say. It really was the closing of something very tragic. He was scared that after this he would forget him.

Opening it very slowly with his heart beating fast, the first page showed big sloppy letters reading, _PONYBOY MIKEL CURTIS._ Soda smirked, _He still couldn't spell Michael right. _The next page was a drawing of two people, a woman and a man. It was obvious it was their parents. They seemed to be smiling. _You really missed him huh 'lil colt?_ Then there was one of himself with each of the member of the gang. There was one with Twobit, apparently they were wrestling. Another with Johnny holding hands with Pony, Dally saying in a bubble, _Peepskuik._ Soda laughed at this knowing that was what Dally used to call him. There was Steve with a mean smile carrying Pony. Many drawings of many people he knew. tears formed in his eyes, _My baby brother was really a smart kid._ Even Cherry the small girl was in the pages. He grinned, _He could have said whatever he wanted but he did like her. _Finally, there was one with him and Darry. Ponyboy drew Darry sitting down with Ponyboy smiling. Then Sodapop holding a cake, one drawing with the three riding a long horse so they could all fit. He chuckled holding tightly the notebook as if it would fall.

At the end, one page was left._ The last one._ His heart ached so much he thought he'd die on the spot. It was different from the rest, the page was colored in black most of it with some small dots. A big circle in the middle. With realization he thought, _Oh! It's the sky...with stars...and a moon._ He searched for anything else. The back of the drawing were some words and a big star that was drawn with pencil. It read, _TUINKLING STARS ARE ANGELS SMILIN. I MISS MAMA, DADY, SODA, DARY, DALI, JONI, STIV, TUBIT AND PEPSI. I HOPE DAT WHEN DEY SEE DA SKY THEY KNOW I MISS THEM. DA BIGEST STAR IS FOR DEM. _

Tears started sliding down on his cheeks, he couldn't contain it. He sobbed, his internal dam broke at last. Those heartbreaking feelings rushed out. Finally, he would be able to move on. After so much time it took. Ponyboy even from beyond the grave, had consoled Sodapop. Knowing it was night time, he walked outside to the back yard where the big red maple tree was. Gazing up at the sky, even though winter was approaching, the stars still shone. His eyes tried to see each one. Know he knew why Ponyboy was so interested at star gazing. The beautiful scene that was up, how something so simple was so astounding. Soda fell on his knees still looking upwards, the coldness in his heart began to vanish. It was as if something had taken a big weight off his chest.

One star was shining more brightly than the others, Sodapop Curtis saw this and began to laugh happily, wiping his tears away with one free arm since the other was carrying the notebook he whispered:

"I miss you too Pone! I miss you too..."

#####

* * *

**(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)**

**This is finally the end of this fanfic. Thank you to all readers! As Johnny said, "Stay gold."**


End file.
